I recently watched the hilarious Monty Python film, The Life of Brian, for the first time since I was in high school —

—and among the many parodies and jokes, a few stood out as being quite relevant to the present. The Monty Python take on martyrdom, insurgency, and empire seems particularly relevant. Consider the effort of al Qaeda to topple the Empire of the West, and then consider these Jewish^* terrorists planning to topple Rome in the Holy Land:

FRANCIS:
    We're gettin' in through the underground heating system here,
    up through into the main audience chamber here, and Pilate's
    wife's bedroom is here. Having grabbed his wife, we inform
    Pilate that she is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands.
    Any questions?

COMMANDO XERXES:
    What exactly are the demands?

REG:
    We're giving Pilate two days to dismantle the entire apparatus
    of the Roman Imperialist State, and if he doesn't agree immediately,
    we execute her.

MATTHIAS:
    Cut her head off?

FRANCIS:
    Cut all her bits off. Send 'em back on the hour every hour. Show them
    we're not to be trifled with.

REG:
    And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility
    when we chop her up, and that we shall not submit to blackmail!

COMMANDOS:
    No blackmail!

REG:
    They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had,
    and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers.

LORETTA (née Stan):
    And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

REG:
    Yeah.

LORETTA:
    And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

REG:
    Yeah. All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever
    given us in return?!

XERXES:
    The aqueduct?

REG:
    What?

XERXES:
    The aqueduct.

REG:
    Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.

COMMANDO #3:
    And the sanitation.

LORETTA:
    Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like?

REG:
    Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things
    that the Romans have done.

MATTHIAS:
    And the roads.

REG:
    Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying,
    don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads--

COMMANDO:
    Irrigation.

XERXES:
    Medicine.

COMMANDOS:
    Huh? Heh? Huh...

COMMANDO #2:
    Education.

COMMANDOS:
    Ohh...

REG:
    Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

COMMANDO #1:
    And the wine.

COMMANDOS:
    Oh, yes. Yeah...

FRANCIS:
    Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh.

COMMANDO:
    Public baths.

LORETTA:
    And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.

FRANCIS:
    Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the
    only ones who could in a place like this.

COMMANDOS:
    Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

REG:
    All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education,
    wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health,
    what have the Romans ever done for us?

XERXES:
    Brought peace.

REG:
    Oh. Peace? Shut up!
    [(Roman centurions knocking at the door:) bam bam bam bam bam bam bam]
    [bam bam bam bam bam]

The Life of Brian makes a point of pitting insurgent groups against each other; this group of insurgents, the People’s Front of Judea hates another group, the Judean People’s Front, as much or more than they hate the Romans.

When Brian is captured and sentenced to die by crucifixion, Judith (a member of the People’s Front of Judea) goes to her group and demands they help Brian escape. The following conversation reminds me of the present talk about Chickenhawks — conservative bloggers who spin all the news, analyze the al Qaeda attack plan, and tell politicians what to do to defeat Islamists. Alternatively, the liberal pundits of the Blogosphere do the same thing. Each group of bloggers at times seems to believe it is fighting against the MSM — while continuously fighting against each other. They are the insurgency against the MSM, but at the same time they each offer a route to victory and peace of their own designing: their own counterinsurgency plan against Islamists. This is how they do it:

REG:
    Right. Now, uh, item four: attainment of world supremacy within
    the next five years. Uh, Francis, you've been doing some work on this.

FRANCIS:
    Yeah. Thank you, Reg. Well, quite frankly, siblings, I think five years is
    optimistic, unless we can smash the Roman empire within
    the next twelve months.

REG:
    Twelve months?

FRANCIS:
    Yeah, twelve months. And, let's face it. As empires go, this is the big one,
    so we've got to get up off our arses and stop just talking about it!

COMMANDOS:
    Hear! Hear!

LORETTA:
    I agree. It's action that counts, not words, and we need action now.

COMMANDOS:
    Hear! Hear!

REG:
    You're right. We could sit around here all day talking, passing resolutions,
    making clever speeches. It's not going to shift one Roman soldier!

FRANCIS:
    So, let's just stop gabbing on about it. It's completely pointless and it's
    getting us nowhere!

COMMANDOS:
    Right!

LORETTA:
    I agree. This is a complete waste of time.
    [(door slams, as Judith enters) bam]

JUDITH:
    They've arrested Brian!

REG:
    What?

COMMANDOS:
    What?

JUDITH:
    They've dragged him off! They're going to crucify him!

REG:
    Right! This calls for immediate discussion!

COMMANDO #1:
    Yeah.

JUDITH:
    What?!

COMMANDO #2:
    Immediate.

COMMANDO #1:
    Right.

LORETTA:
    New motion?

REG:
    Completely new motion, eh, that, ah-- that there be, ah, immediate action--

FRANCIS:
    Ah, once the vote has been taken.

REG:
    Well, obviously once the vote's been taken. You can't act another
    resolution till you've voted on it...

JUDITH:
    Reg, for God's sake, let's go now!

REG:
    Yeah. Yeah.

JUDITH:
    Please!

REG:
    Right. Right.

FRANCIS:
    Fine.

REG:
    In the-- in the light of fresh information from, ahh, sibling Judith--

LORETTA:
    Ah, not so fast, Reg.

JUDITH:
    Reg, for God's sake, it's perfectly simple. All you've got to do
    is to go out of that door now, and try to stop the Romans' nailing
    him up! It's happening, Reg! Something's actually happening, Reg!
    Can't you understand?! Ohhh!
    [slam (Judith leaves)]

REG:
    Hm. Hm.

FRANCIS:
    Oh, dear.

REG:
    Hello. Another little ego trip for the feminists.

LORETTA (née Stan):
    What?

FRANCIS:
    [whistling]

REG:
    Oh, sorry, Loretta. Ahh, oh, read that back, would you?

The PFJ eventually stops talking and goes to the Hill to see Brian. There, rather than rescue him, they thank him for his martyrdom to the cause and leave him to die. The ever-so-Common-Man Brian, nailed to the cross, goes out singing a song on the cross:

...Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
    [whistling]
Always look on the right side of life.
    [whistling]...

——-

Addendum: The Life of Brian script source.

^*Correction: originally, written “Christian.” At the moment of writing, I suppose I had the general parody of LoB in mind!